What do you do when your plans suddenly change, when what you’ve worked and planned for suddenly seems unattainable?
Yesterday was a day like that for me. For months, we’ve been preparing to sell our house and move back to the Lone Star State of Texas.
We’ve invested a lot of time and energy into this project. Remodeling our house, simplifying our lifestyle, reducing our excess personal belongings, researching areas of Texas, and so on.
Last year, I unexpectedly became self-employed spelled L-A-I-D-O-F-F. But we took it in stride as a chance to create a business that would allow me to work from anywhere. That’s been my dream for years.
It hasn’t been easy. But we’ve made it work. A couple of times I’ve considered work at churches in Texas, but both times they didn’t work out.
So we’ve just kept moving, steadily. Then yesterday, I talked to the mortgage broker that works with our realtor in Texas. After a brief summary of my recent work history, he regretfully informed me that we’d need at least two years of self-employment work history to be considered for a mortgage. Two years!?
Apparently, the financial meltdown of 2008 crushed the stated-income mortgage option.
I was disappointed. But after a moment of mourning, I began to weigh our options.
When change comes, the first thing we have to do is accept the new reality. Refusal to accept change leads to frustration and feelings of helplessness. Accepting the new reality forces us to adjust our expectations.
What not to do:
- Fret and complain
- Assume we’ll never get through this and that we’re doomed
- Begin to second guess all our previous decisions
- Start looking at what we don’t have
- Develop a fatalist mentality
- Give up
What to do:
- Re-evaluate the plan
- Develop a new set of options
- Weigh the new options
- Focus on what we do have
- Keep moving
So we’re working on a new set of options, including:
- changing move date,
- looking for a full-time job.
My supportive wife is a huge asset. She doesn’t complain, instead she joins me in seeking a solution. We’re a team and that’s invaluable.
When your plans change, don’t irrationally focus on the negative. Come together, rather than fall apart. It’s just a problem and every problem has a solution.
Focus on where you’re going, not where you are. Life is a journey. If you don’t like where you are today, keep moving. There’s another destination in front of you. There will always be challenges in life but you’re sure to see brighter horizons if you don’t settle where you are.
Help someone fulfill their dream today!
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